How proactive are we really? It’s an interesting question.

The answer is not as proactive as we think – which is a relief otherwise I’d have nothing to write about this week.

I think we are designed to go with the flow. It takes massive action to break out of this, but break out of it we must. But only the few will make it. You may be one of them.

It’s so easy to switch off. To let the autopilot define the destination. To let the alarm clock wake us up; to eat the same breakfast; to react the same way to the same stimuli – boss, partner, issues, problems, opportunities; to think the same thoughts. To be catalysed into action by external events – the email, the phone, work colleagues. To fail to take charge.

I really challenged myself on this last week. I secretly wondered if I was just getting up and doing the same things not because they were the right things but because they were the things I do.

So, being a big fan of tests with easy questions (and difficult answers) I made up a test for myself. I have called it Mark’s Proactivity Tester. Pretty snappy I think you’ll agree.

Now, I understand that some of the questions may not be relevant to you. For example, if your job is to pick up the phone before it rings three times you may struggle with question no 2. So if your job makes you do crazy things, don’t pay too much attention to the questions that show that fact up!

So here it is…

Ask yourself these questions…

1. When I get an email, I…

a) Read it,

b) Don’t read it,

c) Don’t know I’ve received an email.

2. When the phone rings, I…

a) Answer it,

b) Don’t answer it,

c) Don’t know I’ve received a phone call.

3. When someone says “do you have a minute”, I reply…

a) “Of course, shall we get some tea?”,

b) “If it’s a quicky” (ooh-err Missus),

c) “I’m just working on something right now, can you come back at 2 o’clock?”

4. When I am working on something, I…

a) Constantly interrupt myself to do other things,

b) Repeatedly think about the next thing on my list,

c) Focus on what I’m doing to a very high degree, and I’m not really sure what’s next on my list but that’s OK because I have a system where everything is under control.

5. I feel as if I am in charge of my destiny (the key word is destiny – this is not about being in charge of every minute of every day – no one has that luxury)…

a) Pretty much never,

b) Sometimes,

c) Pretty much always.

6. My goals are…

a) Given to me,

b) Negotiated by me,

c) Defined by me.

7. The purpose of my life is…

a) You’re not catching me out with that mumbo jumbo…purpose! Ha!

b) A work in progress,

c) Clear to me.

8. I have a written list of high-payoff activities…

a) You’re joking; I don’t even have goals,

b) In my head, honest, trust me,

c) In my diary.

9. The stuff in my diary this week makes me feel…

a) Nauseous,

b) OK – just another week,

c) Like it’s another step in the right direction.

OK there’s no scoring system here but if you’ve had sufficient coffee today you will have realised that answering c) is better than b) is better than a). So take a view.

We are all somewhere on the reactivity/proactivity line. For me the target is total proactivity. This won’t happen but it’s a target worth striving for. Because total proactivity equals total freedom and I like the sound of that. So I’m going to keep asking myself these nine questions…just to be on the safe side.

It’s not often I re-read a book. In fact the only book I have re-read is Roald Dalh’s Danny The Champion of the World. But I have just finished re-reading Stephen Covey’s masterful The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The worst thing about this book is the title. It sounds like just another quick-fix, get-everything-you-want-in-5-minutes fantasy. But it isn’t.

So here are the habits, in a nutshell -

No 1 Be Proactive.

We are in charge of ourselves. We are responsible – response-able. We can choose how to react to external stimuli, rather than being Pavlov’s dog – salivating at the light.

Covey says that keeping to your commitments – to yourself and others – is the clearest manifestation of our proactivity. If we commit to do something – do it. If we don’t want to commit to it – don’t commit to it. Integrity to our commitments is the clearest manifestation of our proactivity.

No 2 Begin With The End In Mind

All things are created twice – first in our minds and then in reality. We need to get clear on what we want – then create it. It’s goal-setting, essentially.

Without clear goals we are adrift. I reckon roughly 80% of people have no clear goals. They’re not bad people. They’re just won’t realise their potential.

No 3 Put First Things First

This is the high-payoff activities I bang on about endlessly. Not the crises, deadlines, interruptions and endless small stuff.  We must learn to say “no” to everything that is not a high-payoff activity. Say “no” to others, and to ourselves.  Do it pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically. But do it. Time actually IS our greatest asset.

No 4 Think Win-Win

In all relationships – business and personal. Life is not a zero-sum game. To win, others do not have to lose.

Do you have any win-lose relationships in your life? Turn them into win-win, or politely excuse yourself and go. Win-lose is bad for the other guy and bad for your soul. It’s actually lose-lose.

No 5 Seek First To Understand

…then to be understood.

People want to be understood, but few people do the understanding. Why not be one of them? When I meet people for the first time I make sure the conversation is about them, not me. Shamefully, I started doing this because it was suggested to me that this would help them to like me, as people like those who are interested in them. Fortunately, I now find myself genuinely interested in understanding them first. I enjoy understanding them. I actually like it. They seem to too. Maybe I really am a coach.

No 6 Synergy

1 + 1 = 3. We work better when we work together.  I’d rather be in two ventures, sharing the profits with another human being, than in one venture by myself.  I’m pretty good. I’ve got the test results to prove it. But I’m not that good. I lose perspective pretty quickly by myself. I miss things. I don’t see clearly. I am glad I am sufficiently self-aware to see this.

No 7 Sharpen the Saw

Take time to renew. You cannot work all the time. We need to rest, reflect, renew. So take some exercise, write a journal (a great idea), just play, or take time with someone you love. I’m rubbish at all of this. Someone said to me the other day they were leaving the office at 4pm to go home. I thought to myself – “what a luxury”. It’s not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

I cannot do Covey’s book justice in these few words. I suggest you read it, or re-read it and you, like Danny, can be champion of the world.