This week’s Pearl of Leadership wisdom is on…

Self-Confidence

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment”.

- Thomas Carlyle

Last week I asked what this week’s topic should be. By far and away the most frequent request was self-confidence. It seems this is a perennial problem. I am asked about it all the time.

You’re on….GO!

I am reminded of a UK television advert that was shown about two years ago. I think the sponsor was a sportswear brand, but as usual I cannot remember who. The camera is seeing what you see. You’re looking down at your feet. You’re wearing what appear to be football boots. You are standing on grass and there’s a white line just in front of you. You look up and a well known premiership manager is yelling in your face but the sound is distorted and you cannot make out what he says.

The floodlights are blinding…

You look out onto the field and 3 or 4 players are looking back at you, eagerly. They are all recognisable to anyone with a passing interest in English football. One of them is Wayne Rooney. They need you on, and now. You see the referee and he beckons you on. The well known manager gives you a final piece of garbled advice and you sense you’ve just been pushed onto the pitch. The action starts and all around you is a blur of movement and shouts.

Do you feel confident?

Yes? – Good for you….you must be a professional football players or delusional. If, like me, you don’t feel confident because you are not competent and to feel confident without competence is delusion.

What to do?

So how to become confident? Get competent, and to get competent you need to gain the skills you know you don’t have, to move from conscious incompetence to conscious competence. Identify these shortcomings, and take action. Practise, read books, speak to those who have the skills, get educated…whatever it takes. As usual with me there’s no gimmicks, no short cuts, no 5 step plan. If you’re really smart you will identify where you are unconsciously incompetent (you don’t know what you don’t know) and get competent at this too. You’ll need help with that.

Other factors help in the road to self-confidence….

• know your beliefs and get rid of the ones that don’t help you
• don’t be dependent upon anyone or anything
• don’t compare yourself to anyone
• don’t compete with people (as Tiger Woods says “it’s between me and the course, not the other players”)
• understand you cannot give up anything you find desirable
• give up guilt
• set goals

And as always….

Take massive action. Do it now. Your actions will generate accomplishments, from which will flow your self-confidence. No gimmicks, no 5-step plans. But it works…

Next week…..you tell me – go on, it worked last week….